Dear Diary, (that shouldn't be posted on the internet)
it goes without saying that yesterday was perhaps the most successful Valentine's Day yet, even though nothing romantic happened, unless you count killing things on a PS2 game, making a C.V., being told by a tutor you have an oral presentation to start on viruses and bacteria then yes it was quite a good one. I watched Letters to Juliet, which was really good film, frustated me how the protagonist's fiancé, did not catch the hint that she wasn't happy with him continually running off to go see a wine auction, when he should be staying around because HELLO its their honeymoon. Valentine's day is about chocolate, had a chocolate and disney princess cake, so wow isn't that special.
However, even though yesterday was special. Monday was hard for me. Ironically being the 13th of February when I got depressed. I finally activated my facebook account. I had to activate it to contact some people for moving out with next year, getting plans sorted etc. But instead all that happened was I received bad news and drama happened. Drama happened on two groups, a friend who I was hoping would be moving out with us dropped out and money is being a hassle instead of a joy, as I am still looking for a job. I was so lucky to talk to my wonderful friend called Sarah. We talked the night away and Stephanie popped over and that's when Sarah kept saying Cake. And then we were like stuff it. It may be 12pm, midnight but we're going to the shops to get flour and we're going to make a cake.
Our cake was abit of a failure I got to say, as well as risking getting salmonella and Stephanie saying the eggs had gone bottoms up meaning even though the expiry date had passed on the box, physically they were okay because they weren't smelling and were not floating in the water. Our cake was very flat bless. More like a crepe. However, I was very proud of it. It was something Sarah, Steph and I made and it made us forget the problems and worries that were on our mind. And that's when that guy randomly came over. I recognised him from somewhere, and then it hit me, fencing. But why didn't he say anything, when he spoke he was cryptic. Talking in code, asked about salmonella but didn't even bother to say hello or how are you. It was kinda obvious he needed time with Steph, but felt major awkward waves.
I finished my C.V. yesterday with my friend Kaerith whilst she was playing Metal Gear Solid. Bless Kaerith, she's worried about the houses and gave me a lecture on Monday about being more organised after I overslept my promise to meet at the station. Getting a job is hard but I'm not giving up, somewhere in this town there just has to be a job, I cannot give up. Metal Gear Solid looks like so much fun, I wanted to play but I was getting so into my C.V. Kaerith wants to cosplay EVA some point, but there were some points that scared me, like the bit when Snake got caught by the enemy and that noise starts to indicate he had been seen. No matter how many times I heard it, it always scared me.
As well as job-hunting, the work is piling up and cosplay is becoming alittle bit of a chore. I'm going to have to say No to something, haven't decided what it is yet. Last night was very tired so for the first time went to bed early. 12pm. That is not technically early in some people's books but it's earlier than usual, which is 4am or 10am. So yes, early bed-time but I woke up 4am. O.o Honestly my body just can't make its mind up. This morning decided to do some more work and then I discovered it, something quite special. Rihanna's navy limited edition box. I hate it when I discover something like this late, it's still in stock but no way I can afford it at the moment, I'm low on money and even if I do get money, I have to think about deposit, food, travel costs etc for Uni life. It's so annoying, I wish I hit the jackpot already, its very frustating not having money. It's kind of funny how family at the beginning of the Uni term are like 'Don't worry, we'll pitch and help' and now .........
Some people call this independence, I call this a joke and a pitiful survival game. Independence is when you have a job, a house, a stable income and you call the shots, not the boss. I am not independent at all. I depend on student loans, grants. I depend on others, I'm depending on Uni for my future, and I've kiund of been let down by some of these sources. But alas, next year hopefully things will get better. I get very irritated when I can't buy the things I desire. If that RiRi limited edition navy box goes out of stock FUUUUUUUUU. Someone is going to be very cross. T.T
Finally the last things nagging on my mind. I'm worried about getting a job, the two places I found vacancies for, are Pizza Hut and Subway but the thing is I've never worked in a restuarant before. And Pizaa Hut sounded very demanding in terms of social interaction and politeness. And also I'm still annoyed with some people. Actually quite a few people, I can't say who they are but I know who they are. I feel they've let me down and it sucks because I've been there for them. This February has been a peculiar month, a mixed bag, I can't wait for the months to zoom by, I certainly feel like I'm ready to end this chapter of my life and began the next section. Adult-life.
TokyoDreamer9
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