Why is Happiness so short-lived?

I just had this question pop into my head today when I realized for again I wasn't happy. I just realized recently I'm like Haruhi Suzumiya in the respect that I want more than a normal life can give. I was so looking forward to this summer but I forgot that I would have no money and will be fasting soon. None of my friends have spoken to me in quite awhile and too much stuff keeps going through my head. I have a dilemma again and as usual its a stupid one. Should I continue doing cosplay or start thinking about travelling. There's so many characters that I still haven't done cosplaying. But cosplaying is such a short-lived experience and there's so much drama surrounding it. Should I give it up? And yet travelling is also expensive. I really want to explore the world but I don't know. I'm just fed up that nothing is happening at the moment. And I've finally nearly finished my last coursework. 

Most of the time I can be okay and on particular days I'm very happy but then sometimes I become bored and dissatisfied. I realized this summer will be the second year in a row I have not seen my family abroad. And this year I turn 20. I feel as though I haven't done anything with my life. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I don't feel like I'm challenging myself as much. This boredom started quite awhile back, particularly when starting Uni. I started this blog, youtube and the secret project and I had so many plans but I'm at crossroads again. 

I really wish I could wake up every morning to find every day different from the rest but sometimes even the weather puts me off. Recently I thought to myself. I wish I could go to Paris, or Hawaii. See something new and exciting, see new people, try something new. Instead I'm at home typing for a diary for a hospital work experience coursework deadline due next week even though everyone is finished with their course and recently my friend Kaerith started a convo asking about whether I knew when exam results are published.

It scared me. The words exam results. My future decided again on some numbers on a piece of paper. And that's what my secret project is, if those numbers turn out to be unlucky the project will be my hope. I really can't help these feelings. I keep expecting things to change but the past inevitably repeats itself.